I’m already remarried, now what?

There are usually two areas that remarried Catholics will want to consider after divorce and remarriage:

You may need an annulment

If both of you were free to (re)marry in the Church, and did so , no problem. However, you may have remarried outside the Church and now want to have your new marriage convalidated. The common term is “blessed” but convalidation is much more than a mere blessing; it is the exchange of vows according to the Church that makes it valid and—if both parties are validly baptized Christians—can elevate the marriage to a sacrament.  Sacraments bring endless amounts of supernatural graces that every married couple should have.

One or both of you may need to go through the annulment process first, even if one spouse is a non-Catholic. Most anytime that two adults say, “I do”, the Church assumes there is a valid marriage bond. These issues need to be cleared up. Don’t be afraid of the process. Go to our Annulment links below for more help or set u a coaching session HERE.

You need help with blended family issues

After divorce and remarriage, step-parenting is a special challenge.

Second marriages fail at an extremely high rate—even Catholic marriages—because of many issues. One major problem? The new family may be child centered, not marriage centered.

Remarriage calls for new priorities

Many parents understandably, but inappropriately, put their children first in a second marriage. After the horrors of divorce, they naturally want to protect the kids from any more hurt.  So they:

• overindulge or coddle
• become a Disneymom or dad
• favor their biological children
• don’t address the authority of the stepparent
• keep discipline measures separate
• tolerate disrespect from the the kids/stepkids
• take their childrens’ side over the spouse
• allow adult children to interfere

All of these will bring extra stresses and disorder to any family and ultimately to the marriage.  Parents and stepparents must learn new principles, priorities, and practices to keep the family healthy and stable.  I’ve been there and I can help! Schedule a coaching session using the links below.

God’s order still stands 

Good Catholic parents who love God don’t always see that something or someone other than solid Christian principles and virtues have taken priority.  God’s order for marriage and family remains, even after divorve:

• First, God, for everyone,
• Second, the good of the spouses/marriage as teh fuondation of the family,
• Third, (other than matters of life, death, and health) the children.

This will triggger every child-centered family but is the key to a happy and holy life, marriage, and family.  Trust God’s plan and if this does not make sense to you, get coaching!

More:

What is Annulment?

Annulment – A Tough Topic

Was There a True Marital Bond?

Living as Brother and Sister

References:

Bible: And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you and your household will be saved.” Acts 16:31

Catechism: Children owe their parents respect, gratitude, just obedience, and assistance. Filial respect fosters harmony in all of family life. CCC 2251

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Do you need some wisdom and guidance during or after your divorce? Schedule a coaching session with me (see links below) or find comfort in one of my books.