Categories: Divorce

Rose Sweet

Rose Sweet

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I’m furious. What do I do with all this anger?

Well, put away the shotgun, that will only get you jail time (hard beds, bad food).

When we look to Christ—who got angry—we can learn from him. Anger is an emotion that is meant to move us to right a wrong, which is what Our Lord did with the money changers in the temple.  Jesusneversinned so we can understand that sometimes anger at injustice (real or perceived) is not necessarily a sin, but what you do with that anger can be.

Honestly examine your anger

Anger is a natural response to unmet expectations. Your expectations may be right and even noble, but are they realistic?  Is it just because you didn’t get your way . . . or is much more at stake here? Are you trying to get even? Are you trying to reclaim your own sense of power? Have you let anger fester into resentment or bitterness? That will only keep you an emotional prisoner of the other person/ situation, and it is deadly for the heart, growth of tumors, weight gain, headaches, and more.

Don’t indulge your anger

Take appropriate action to fix the problem and then let it go. You needn’t tolerate bad behavior but you may have to adjust your expectations to the reality of the situation, as sad or as painful as that may be. Get professional help if anger has become a habit or unmanageable. Most people have a natural and strong desire for justice and their anger is often a response to feeling the other person is going to get away “scott-free” with their ‘crimes’.   This is where we must step back, take a breath, keep the big picture in mind, and trust God. He promises justice, but in His time and His way.

Lean in to the Lord

We must stop trying to be God. We must be patient and take him at his Word. He alone is Perfect Justice . . .  and Perfect Mercy at the same time. Learn more about what the church teaches about the passions in the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 1762 – 1775). Pray to trust Him more.  Read His promises in Scripture. Believe them!

References:

 Bible: Be angry, but do not sin. Eph 4:25 – 27

Catechism: Passions are morally good when they contribute to a good action, evil in the opposite case. CCC 1767 – 1770

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Do you need some wisdom and guidance during or after your divorce? Schedule a coaching session with me (see links below) or find comfort in one of my books.

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