What can I do to feel better?

 St. Thomas Aquinas addresses this in his “Five Remedies for Sorrow,” and begins with recommending you do something first to take the edge off and be comforted, to treat yourself. Doctors used to give a sucker to the child who sat still for her shots; even adults need a little “sugar” to help them get through the pain of divorce. But prudence is necessary here: a new relationship, a spending blitz, or a half-gallon of Haagen Dazs will only hurt you (and others) more in the long run.

Some  healthy ideas to help you through this tough time include: slowing down, getting lots of rest, unloading your overscheduled calendar for a while (yes, even saying no to the kids), taking walks, or listening to beautiful music. See a show, drink a cold beer, buy a little something new.

Blow the dust off your bible and spend a few minutes reading the Psalms; you’ll relate to the deep heart cries and discover the calming, reassuring promises of God to take care of you.

Be courageous and make a searching and honest eamination of conscience and get to confession. Unloading shame and guilt will make anyone feel lighter, freer, and more at peace after confession.

Keep your eye on the bigger picture. Trust God is going to get you through this even when you can’t see when and how.

And remember that feelings come and go. Feeling better may not mean you are better. Only the spiritual Truth will bring you the deepest healing. Perhaps you may never have thought about going to sit before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. He promised never to leave you and left His real, true and substantial Presence available to you in the Eucharist. Quiet time with Him, crying, unloading, problem solving or even better . . . just listening . . . can help you feel better.

References

Bible: No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Joshua 1:4-6

Catechism: The worship of the one God sets man free from turning in on himself  . . . CCC 2096 -2097

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Do you need some wisdom and guidance during or after your divorce? Schedule a coaching session with me (see links below) or find comfort in one of my books.