Categories: Divorce

Rose Sweet

Rose Sweet

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What do I do with all this fear?

Some say that there are only two basic responses in life: love and fear.

All good thoughts and feelings come from love, all negative are rooted in some type of fear: fear of losing, fear of injustice, fear of rejection, fear of not being loved, fear of failure, fear of losing power and control, fear of loss of self, and the list goes on.

Don’t be ashamed to admit you are afraid. It’s not a sign of weakness.  Fear of being without basic food, clothing, shelter, and medical care is a normal human response and sometimes a prudent way to respond!

Fear is behind negative emotions

Anger comes from a fear that you will not get what you believe is due you or that justice will be served. As we discuss in another blog on anger, initially it may not be sinful, but if the focus becmess sustained on what you want, it becomes self-centered and maybe sinful.

Anxiety is not just nervousness, but also a form of fear.

Worry can be normal and even healthy but when it is excessive, it can reveal a focus on oneself and a lack of acceptance or trust in God.

Thinking should trump feeling

Emotions are normal but can grow out-of-control. St Paul (Rom 12:2) and other saints say we will be healed when we lead with what we know to be true (mind), not what we feel (emotions).  We must ask God to help us replace unhealthy or excessive fear with faith in what we know: that God alone can sustain us, guide us, save us, and love us unconditionally and without end. That is our Catholic faith. But sometimes we don’t really believe that; or we may believe it intellectually, but our emotions are in doubt.  If others have failed us, we may think God will, too.  And when we let our emotions rule rather than our intellect, well . . . all hell can break loose and fears can overwhelm us.

Make a list of your fears

A good spiritual exercise is making a list of all your fears, categorized by every area of your life, taking them to God in prayer and then reading what Scripture has to say about those fears!  Do you know how many times God tells us to “Be not afraid” or “Fear not” in the Bible? 365 times . . . one for every day of the year.

References:

BibleTrust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. Prov 3:4-5 (P.S. Memorize this one!)

Catechism: The apprehension of evil causes hatred, aversion, and fear of the impending evil; this movement ends in sadness at some present evil, or in the anger that resists it. CCC 1765

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Do you need some wisdom and guidance during or after your divorce? Schedule a coaching session with me (see links below) or find comfort in one of my books.

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