What will happen in court?

You never know for sure. The law intends to bring justice but in a disordered world it could be a crapshoot.  Scripture tells us it would be wise to avoid court altogether or at least try to settle your issues before you get into the courtroom (1 Cor 6:1-8).  Sometimes, though, that is not possible.

Legal battles will hurt everyone

Court battles can make you feel like you got sent straight to jail for having a failed marriage. “Prison” can be losing parental rights or getting stuck with paying crippling legal fees, or both. It’s also “prison” to be continually engaged in battle, to lock horns with someone you once loved. It only drives nails deeper into the wounds.

Be willing to lose in order to win

After divorce a good principle to consider is “being willing to lose in order to win” like the guy who let go of the tug-of-war rope because it was burning the flesh right off his hands! If you are close to an agreement, consider not holding out for those last items so you can “win”. Let it go. Be generous, even when it is not fair.

Fight only for the basics

Now, in some cases it is a matter of safety and survival and with wise legal counsel you should be in the courtroom to protect your children and livelihood. But not with greed, revenge, or entitlement. Each situation warrants careful and prayerful consideration but shuodl eb approached with humility, gratitide, and appropriate detachment.

Grieve the losses but trust God

If you don’t get what you hoped for–or even what is fair–stop killing yourself, spending thousands, and staying focused on  getting justice. This can keep you angry, depressed, anxious, not fully present to your children, not at your best at work, and a miserable person to be around.  As some point ( and get a wise counselor to help you with this) you will need to let go and move on. Trust God, not the courts.

More: Addressing Child Support

References:

Bible: Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison.  Matthew 5:25

Catechism: You shall love the Lord with all your heart . . . and your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law  CCC 2055

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