Are you starving for love, purpose, or direction?
St. Teresa of Calcutta said our culture had a terrible “poverty” of spirit and was “starving” for love. She was right.
Food, clothing, and shelter are only the beginning of meeting our most basic needs because you are not just a body, you are a whole person: body, soul, mind, and heart.
Just as deep, unsatisfied hunger pangs in the stomach can make you crazy, so can your other whole-person, unmet needs. If you want a balanced and healthy life–the abundant life that Our Lord promises us–you must include appropriate ways to love and care for yourself in these areas, too. It’s called the inner life.
This isn’t Pop-Psychology 101
Do you know what happens when you deny, ignore, and allow those invisible parts of you to starve? Or feed them with “junk food” or even poison? All manner of eventual death and dying that will show up not just in your relationships but all parts of life.
So, just as you would study diet and nutrition, avoid fatty foods, watch those carbs, limit your alcohol, and drink plenty of water, you must have a plan to feed and sustain your interior self as well. It’s one of the greatest commandments: love (and care for) your neighbor as you love (and care for) yourself.
Work with me here
As your coach, I’m committed to providing the best ways to live out your Catholic faith starting from the inside out. Since you likely know I’m a huge fan of the work of Dr. Peter Malinosky, Ph.D. and those at Souls and Hearts, I’ll regularly be sending you there to explore the treasures they have for your inner life. From Dr. Peter’s podcast (Interior Integration for Catholics) . . . your ten top needs. Let me help you feed them properly.
Top INTEGRITY NEEDS (for Self):
1 – To exist and survive,
2 – To matter, to have value,
3 – To have agency; use of your free will,
4 – To be good,
5 – To have a meaningful mission in life.
Top ATTACHMENT NEEDS (with Others):
1 – To feel safe in relationships,
2 – To be seen, heard, and understood,
3 – To be soothed,
4 – To be sweet to the other, (they delight in you)
5 – To be sure they have your very best in mind
Think about your life and your most important relationships. Do you hunger for some or even all of these? Don’t know how to get what you know you need? Schedule a session and let’s make a plan. In the meantime:
Download, copy, or print this list
Learn it by heart.
Share it with your spouse, friends, therapist, or spiritual director.
Teach your children and invite their comments and discussion.
And if you want more, try these other resources:
Unmet Attachment Needs and Unmet Integrity Needs
Dr. Peter Malinosky, Interior Integration for Catholics podcast
A New and Better Way of Understanding Your Self and Others
Dr. Peter Introduces IFS on Interior Integration for Catholics Podcast
Understanding Your Parts – Part 1
(Being Human Podcast)
VIDEO; Dr. Peter Malinoski and Dr. Greg Bottaro introduce IFS
Understanding Your Parts – Part 2
VIDEO; Dr. Peter Malinoski (soulsandhearts.com )and Dr. Greg Bottaro (CatholicPsych.com)