Categories: Relationships

Rose Sweet

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What would you do?

I have a dear friend who is deeply, emotionally attached to her wardrobe.  Growing up in the Great Depression, and having only three plain cotton dresses that came from a charity group, she’s always defined success and self-worth as being able to have beautiful clothes with shoes to match every outfit. As a hard-working businesswoman most of her adult life she did have a closet full of some of the most elegant outfits I’ve ever seen . . . and fabulous footwear to match!

She’s in her nineties now. In recent years she’s suffered a few minor strokes, had heart problems, and fallen down more than a few times and ended up in the emergency room. Before she moved in with her daughter, neighbors would volunteer to help her. One well-meaning friend offered to drive my friend to the store and buy a pair of safe, sensible shoes—with rubber soles—that would help keep her from falling down.  My friend called me almost crying, “The shoes are so ugly! So today I did not wear them. I put on the cute ones that go with my slacks. I just want to be beautiful.”

Then she added quietly, “I hope I don’t fall.”

Put yourself in their shoes

Uh-oh. She’s like a child now, pushing petulantly against the practical slickers mother wants her to wear in the rain. Her friend only wanted to help and is simply tired of taking her to the hospital. All I could do was listen and try to make her laugh.

I said, “Well, if you slipped and fell and died because of wearing the cute shoes, at least those who stood over your dead body would remark at how well put together you were! And you would never be buried in ugly, sensible shoes!” She laughed.

Our faith requires that we treat others the way we want to be treated; that we go the extra mile and even sacrifice our time, energy, and money to bring joy and delight to others—even in the little things.  So do the best you can.  Don’t take it personally when they are not happy–it’s probably not about you at all.

Love isn’t always sensible

Is there someone in your life, young or old, who is attached to some old pillow, sweater, slippers, or another object that represents something very dear to them?  Don’t be so quick to talk them out of it or throw it in the trash.  Don’t shame or correct them: let them keep it.

Is there any other way to get the job done and still keep them happy?  Maybe, maybe not. Is there another way to put your RELIGION into that RELATIONSHIP?

Then do it.

Sweet Talk

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