{"id":6712,"date":"2019-11-13T16:41:28","date_gmt":"2019-11-13T16:41:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/?p=6712"},"modified":"2022-07-16T01:13:45","modified_gmt":"2022-07-16T01:13:45","slug":"handling-the-holidays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/handling-the-holidays\/","title":{"rendered":"Handling the Holidays"},"content":{"rendered":"
DIVORCE makes the usually stressful and over-scheduled holidays even more difficult<\/strong><\/h5>\n

If you\u2019re separated or divorced, these ten tips can help you unload the dread, anxiety, or loneliness for a time of inner peace, hope, and even a little joy. If you\u2019re related to, or a friend of, someone who\u2019s divorced, these will also help you help them!<\/p>\n

( 1 ) Have realistic expectations<\/strong><\/h5>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>Don\u2019t expect this year to be like others. Visualize divorce as being a \u201cheart attack\u201d and that can help you approach the season with much more balance; after such a huge physical trauma, one needs more rest, must drop some former activities, and listens to the body for clues of how far you can push yourself.\u00a0 The holidays will come again every year. There will be new good times . . . count on it.<\/p>\n

( 2 ) Know you may stay home this year<\/strong><\/h5>\n

You may feel like isolating which is a normal part of grief and healing.\u00a0 But some friends may push you to get out. Stop feeling sad! Come be happy with us!\u00a0 If you are wallowing in self-pity, you may need to wash your face, spritz on some cologne, and force yourself to go. Remember you have choices: if you\u2019re ambushed by emotions at the party, you can politely leave. Take care of yourself. But if you are genuinely overwhelmed and need the security of solace, give yourself permission to stay in.<\/p>\n

( 3 ) Do something special for yourself<\/strong><\/h5>\n

St. Thomas Aquinas taught one of the five remedies for sadness is to treat yourself to a little something you like. Go to a good movie, do some window shopping, drop into Church for adoration, or have a cold beer. It doesn\u2019t have to be lavish.\u00a0 This is not selfishness; let it be for you a small reminder\/foretaste of the joys of heaven.<\/p>\n

( 4 ) Do something for someone else<\/strong><\/h5>\n

One of the best ways to come out of your misery is to help someone else.\u00a0 Help other family members with something simple; you can volunteer at school, church, or at a community shelter. But it\u2019s also okay if all you can manage is simply remembering to get your kids\u2019 Christmas presents before Christmas Eve.<\/p>\n

( 5 ) Keep it simple<\/strong><\/h5>\n

Having a Christmas tree may cheer you up but for others, it may be too depressing. Sending Christmas cards can be very therapeutic, but for some it is yet another time-consuming and unnecessary expense.\u00a0 Re-examine everything you used to do during the holidays, keep what works, and get rid of the rest. At least for this year. Divorce can help you reorder your life in better ways you never realized.<\/p>\n

( 6 ) Keep in close touch with the kids<\/strong><\/h5>\n

Children crave routine and rituals which give them a sense of security\u2014especially holiday customs.\u00a0 Keep as many of the holiday routines that they best love.\u00a0 Simplify the lavish gift craziness; it will help everyone detach from \u201cthings\u201d and focus on what is most important.\u00a0 Instead of the expensive annual ski trip, popcorn and Christmas movies can become a new family tradition. Listen to and affirm your children, but remember you are the parent and have the final word. Use common sense. Be most generous in your time, attention, and hugs. Can’t access your children? Write them cards and letters for later.<\/em><\/p>\n

( 7 ) Don\u2019t think you must celebrate with your divorced spouse<\/strong><\/h5>\n

As a Catholic, you know you\u2019re still married (until and unless there is a decree of nullity\/annulment), so love and pray for your spouse even when there is civil divorce or even remarriage. If the divorce is new or tensions are still high, trying to force a family Christmas may often confuse everyone,\u00a0 especially if the other parent brings their new romantic partner. Be kind and get together only if you think it\u2019s best, but don\u2019t force it. Christmas can\u2019t cover the real problems.\u00a0 Next year will probably be different.<\/p>\n

( 8 ) Help the children buy a present for their other parent<\/strong><\/h5>\n

Help them select or make a gift for others, but don\u2019t be tempted to take credit for this generosity by adding your name to the gift tag. Let the child take credit. Stay anonymous. The Lord sees what you do in secret.<\/p>\n

( 9 ) Consider true sacrifice<\/strong><\/h5>\n

Why not give the other parent Christmas Eve AND all of Christmas day and night and stop trying to split it \u201cin half\u201d like Solomon\u2019s baby? Let that side of the family have complete uninterrupted, joyful access to the kids (like you would like to have!) You can \u201cdo presents\u201d the days before or right after, extending the happy times for your children. Then, next year, switch off and you get Christmas Eve\/Day. It makes it much easier to plan meals and the rest of the extended family will love you for this! They don’t like to see the kids packed up in the middle of the day and sent off, either.<\/p>\n

( 10 ) Go to Mass and rejoice in your heart<\/strong><\/h5>\n

Make God the center of the holidays (HOLY-days). Direct your children to the greatest joy we have, Christ who loves us and comes to set us free.\u00a0 It\u2019s normal that your emotions may be extremely tender; the tears may come, and the cries of your heart may be muffled by the strains of \u201cSilent Night\u201d. But come. Come as you are and enter into the supreme sacrifice of love Jesus made on the cross.\u00a0 Offer your hurts, hopes, and your whole self. Entrust your family to him.\u00a0 Even if you can\u2019t feel it, BELIEVE!<\/p>\n

* * * *<\/p>\n

Need more encouragement or practical holiday help? Contact me<\/a> to schedule a phone appointment.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":6714,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[68,72,71],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nHandling the Holidays - Rose Sweet<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Ten tried and tested tips to handle the holidays after a divorce. You can eliminate stress and find the peace and joy you still have.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/handling-the-holidays\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Handling the Holidays - Rose Sweet\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Ten tried and tested tips to handle the holidays after a divorce. You can eliminate stress and find the peace and joy you still have.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/handling-the-holidays\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Rose Sweet\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-11-13T16:41:28+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-07-16T01:13:45+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/dreamstime_l_27368094-2-small.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1430\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Rose Sweet\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Rose Sweet\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Handling the Holidays - Rose Sweet","description":"Ten tried and tested tips to handle the holidays after a divorce. You can eliminate stress and find the peace and joy you still have.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/handling-the-holidays\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Handling the Holidays - Rose Sweet","og_description":"Ten tried and tested tips to handle the holidays after a divorce. You can eliminate stress and find the peace and joy you still have.","og_url":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/handling-the-holidays\/","og_site_name":"Rose Sweet","article_published_time":"2019-11-13T16:41:28+00:00","article_modified_time":"2022-07-16T01:13:45+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1600,"height":1430,"url":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/dreamstime_l_27368094-2-small.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Rose Sweet","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Rose Sweet","Est. reading time":"6 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/handling-the-holidays\/","url":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/handling-the-holidays\/","name":"Handling the Holidays - Rose Sweet","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/handling-the-holidays\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/handling-the-holidays\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/dreamstime_l_27368094-2-small.jpg","datePublished":"2019-11-13T16:41:28+00:00","dateModified":"2022-07-16T01:13:45+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/#\/schema\/person\/082fc4e6a45058bbc2295d0f0e9e7049"},"description":"Ten tried and tested tips to handle the holidays after a divorce. You can eliminate stress and find the peace and joy you still have.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/handling-the-holidays\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/handling-the-holidays\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/handling-the-holidays\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/dreamstime_l_27368094-2-small.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/dreamstime_l_27368094-2-small.jpg","width":1600,"height":1430},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/handling-the-holidays\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Handling the Holidays"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/","name":"Rose Sweet","description":"Catholic Author & Coach","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/#\/schema\/person\/082fc4e6a45058bbc2295d0f0e9e7049","name":"Rose Sweet","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/537951d584a4779ade3ff12c7b445f70?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/537951d584a4779ade3ff12c7b445f70?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Rose Sweet"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/rosesweet.com"],"url":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/author\/rose\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6712"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6712"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6712\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10308,"href":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6712\/revisions\/10308"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6714"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6712"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6712"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6712"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}