{"id":6666,"date":"2020-04-13T14:12:02","date_gmt":"2020-04-13T14:12:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/?p=6666"},"modified":"2022-07-16T01:11:55","modified_gmt":"2022-07-16T01:11:55","slug":"help-for-adult-children-of-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rosesweet.com\/help-for-adult-children-of-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"Help for Adult Children of Divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"
It\u2019s a myth: the children of divorce do NOT come out unscathed and they do NOT always bounce back beautifully. Parents should find a way to make it\u2014any way short of serious abuse\u2014at least for the sake of the innocent victims. While this is not always possible, many people divorce without exhausting every possible solution for staying together.<\/p>\n
No matter their age, children of divorce can have wounds that go deep and last for years. Without specific help, many can stay partially emotionally \u201cstuck\u201d at the age of the trauma. Despite any of their intellectual understanding that divorce may not have been unavoidable, or was even necessary, emotionally they will usually always long for their parents to be together\u2014even after decades. They often suffer from deep levels of fear of abandonment, fear of commitment, lack of trust, lack of commitment, inability to attach in a healthy way, and so much more. Their relationships, health, careers, marriages, and own children can suffer.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s the really bad news. Is there any hope? Of course there is, and his name is Jesus Christ.<\/p>\n
If you are a divorced parent and cringe at the thought of what you or the other parent have done to the kids, it\u2019s not too late. If you are one of the adult children of divorce, it is not too late for you, either.<\/p>\n
Everyone in the family is hurt by divorce\u2014there is no escape. But two thousand years ago, Christ came to heal the blind, lame, deaf, dumb, crippled, and diseased.\u00a0 He even raised people from the dead and he still is in the business of miracles. Life is plagued with injustices, traumas, and even horror\u2014including divorce\u2014none of which should ever be minimized.\u00a0 But if we also fail to offer hope and a solution, we leave others in a state of despair . . . or worse.<\/p>\n
Moms and Dads, God love you<\/em>, maybe you did not want the divorce, fought it with all you had, or had no other choice than divorce for the safety or sanity of your family.\u00a0 Regardless\u2014and even if some relief came from the divorce\u2014everyone was adversely affected in some way.\u00a0 If you have not done so, you need to admit it as that is the first step to real healing for you and everyone. This is not about blame since that is for your confessor; this is about the promise of our faith of healing for all.<\/p>\n Just as their parents do, through a slow, careful, and consistently Catholic path. The following list is not meant to be a quick fix and it will probably take years for the layers of hurt to be brought to the Light. But this path to healing works, as many can attest.<\/p>\n For all family members:<\/p>\n 1 \u2013 Admit you need help and ask God to help you find it.<\/p>\n 2 \u2013 Draw close to him daily and cling tightly to him, taking a day at a time.<\/p>\n 3 \u2013 Begin to deepen your prayer life, even with baby steps.<\/p>\n 4 \u2013 Be honest about your emotions and struggles. Especially with God. He can take it.<\/p>\n 5 \u2013 Start talking with a trusted friend or in a support group about what has been kept hidden and secret and taboo\u2014maybe since you were a child.<\/p>\n 6 \u2013 Make a list of all your fears; work on it for a few weeks. Take it to prayer. And a good spiritual director.<\/p>\n 7 \u2013 Seek professional Catholic counseling in uncovering the residual anger, rage, bitterness, genuine guilt, false guilt, or unaddressed grief.<\/p>\nHow do adult children of divorce heal? <\/strong><\/h5>\n